


Trust Fall

by Manickmondays



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrid!AU, M/M, dumb gays who wont talk about their feelings, seriously boys taLK ABT UR FEELINGS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:37:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7471128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manickmondays/pseuds/Manickmondays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prey are scared of predators. It makes evolutionary sense.</p><p>It makes a lot less sense when it makes Jeremy afraid to hug his boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust Fall

Jeremy’s not  _ scared _ of Michael, he’s really not. He loves him, with every ounce of his being he loves him. He’s just… he’s prey. He can’t help but be anxious. It’s just the way he  _ is _ . Especially when Michael grins a toothy grin and opens up his arms all Jeremy can see is  _ trap trap this is bad he wants to eat you _ , despite the fact that he just wants to give his J a hug.

It’s kind of a problem.

It’s more of a problem because he won’t tell Michael about it.

He can’t ignore the confused and sort of hurt look he gets when he throws his arm over the back of the couch in invitation, only to have Jeremy barely close enough for him to touch. He throws out some lame excuse, like he wouldn’t want the guys coming in and seeing, but they both know that everyone already knows about them and just won’t say anything for fear of being rude. So Michael always just puts his arm down, and tries his best not to act hurt. Jeremy feels his heart sink at the way Michael’s ears flatten, but he can’t get past the way his heart hammers in his chest when he thinks about getting any closer.

It’s just instinct, he tells himself, that’s all it is. There’s nothing wrong with their relationship. And there really isn’t, but god, when they’ve only been dating for a couple months and he can’t even do so much as cuddle? Jeremy feels sick when he thinks about what Michael must think of him. He even fucked up and confessed his love like, embarrassingly early, and Michael simply  _ has _ to be thinking he regrets it. Right?

And if he thought his anxiety was bad he can’t conceive of what it’s like when he’s over at Michael’s apartment, and they’re playing… something together. Jeremy’s too distracted to really pay attention to what first person shooter they’re playing. 

“Hey.” Michael says without looking away from the tv. “Are we ok?”

Jeremy laughs nervously and looks over at him, totally missing the way he takes a bullet through the brain on screen to focus on the very real pain in his chest. “Yeah, we’re good. Why?”

Michael shrugs, “No reason I guess. Just like, checking up, and everything. You know, like those bullshit doctors appointments where nothing’s up but you have to go in anyway.” He sounds so casual, and Jeremy wants to believe he doesn’t suspect something’s wrong. 

“Yeah, I get you.” Jeremy fidgets a little, and he watches Michael’s ears swivel to the sound of his shifting on the couch. He feels watched. It makes his throat close up a little.

\--

The next date they have- well, date might be generous given that they’re at a hole in the wall Mexican place with transcendently good tacos and Jeremy’s wearing a fucking Red Hot Chili Peppers t-shirt. It’s not exactly the classiest kind of dinner out.

But, the next date they have is… nice. Jeremy feels brave enough to take Michael’s hand for a little bit, and it stops Michael halfway through a sip of his Shiner, but he smiles and brushes his thumb over Jeremy’s knuckles. He’s not nervous, and he bites back laughter as Michael’s ears flick wildly to the sounds around them (‘they’re  _ sensitive _ , Jeremy’ he says with a fake scowl). Michael gets him back by teasing him about the fact that he’s always getting salad because he’s a lil’ baby rat, and Jeremy shoots back that Michael’s ordered fish the past  _ seven _ times they’ve gone out. It’s easy as hell, and he wonders if maybe nothing’s wrong and he doesn’t eventually have to talk to Michael. Because he  _ really  _ doesn’t want to do that. He’s maybe not the best at that whole thing.

It’s fine. They’re fine.

Until they’re not and they’re going home, Michael just a little bit buzzed in the passenger seat, and Jeremy think’s  _ that’s _ fine till Michael’s pawing at his arm and making some… suggestions on where they should head afterwards. Jeremy just grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white, and he can’t stop thinking about how close he’s gonna have to be to Michael for anything like what he’s insinuating, and the thought scares the hell out of him. So he plays it off like he’s The Most Responsible Boyfriend, and just drives Michael back to his apartment, leaving him with a kiss that even somewhat drunk Michael isn’t convinced by. His brow furrows and his ears flatten, and Jeremy hopes his face doesn’t give away everything. How worried he is, and how he’s not gonna sleep well at all, and Michael’s gonna notice  _ that _ and-

Jesus, he just needs to go home, curl up and sleep.

And he tries, he really does. Puts on nothing television and makes himself a nice hot drink (which might have Fireball in it, but he’d never tell) and curls up in his boxers and the coziest blankets he can find, and he’s still awake at four in the morning.

Work the next day is hell, and he’s vibrating from the amount of caffeine in his body, but it’s even worse when Michael pulls him aside.

“You don’t look so good, man, you okay?” Michael lays a hand on his shoulder, and Jeremy has to work to not shake it off. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Jeremy knows it sounds like a lie, because it is. “I’m fine, I’m just-”

“Shaking? Falling asleep at your computer? Sounds good to me.” Michael’s mouth is just a straight line, and he looks… disappointed? It’s not just worry Jeremy can read on his face, and he feels a profound wave of shame wash over him.

“I didn’t sleep well, that’s all.” If Michael’s lips could get any thinner, they do and he leans forward a little, Jeremy backing up in response. His hands come up instinctively and Michael backs off. “Sorry. Tired. Messing with me, I guess.” He puts his hands down to let Michael come closer and kiss his forehead, and he’s very proud of himself for not flinching away.

“Listen, if you need to head home, I can probably find some bullshit excuse for you so that Geoff isn’t up your ass about it.” He shrugs a little and give Jeremy a soft smile that manages to make some of the tension slip from his body. It makes a warmth bloom in Jeremy’s chest that reminds him why he fell for Michael in the first place, and he smiles a little bit back.

“That would be good, I think I need a nap, honestly.” He chuckles and Michael grins out of the corner of his mouth.

“Go on, I’ll cover for you. Or do you need me to drive you home?” He’s joking but Jeremy would actually really like some quiet time with him. Maybe being tired will make him lower his defenses and just… fucking get close to his boyfriend for once.

“I think I can make it, but thanks for the offer.” Michael turns to go, but before he can, Jeremy shoots out a hand to grab his wrist. Michael’s tail sticks up, along with his ears before Jeremy softly says “I love you.” Michael turns a little pink, like he always does, before turning back and scratching his fingers along Jeremy’s beard and leaning down for a kiss.

“Love you too.” His voice is just as soft when he pulls back, and he gently bumps his nose against Jeremy’s. Jeremy hums lowly and closes his eyes, barely even noticing how close Michael is to him. “But fucking seriously, go home and sleep or I’m gonna come over and put you  _ to _ sleep.” Jeremy laughs, shaking his head and stepping back. 

“Way to kill the moment.”

“Listen, I will absolutely come over to your house and tuck you in and shit. Don’t try me, lil J.”

“Just go back in and do your job, I’ll be fine.”

“You better. We have a date coming up. You aren’t allowed to be sick on our date.” Michael crosses his arms and gives Jeremy a very stern look that just makes them both devolve into giggles, Michael’s tail swishing behind him playfully.

“See you tomorrow, babe.” Jeremy waves a little as he starts to walk off.

“See you tomorrow. Asshole.” Michael grins, and all Jeremy sees is the curl of his lip and the sharp teeth. It doesn’t quite strike fear into him, because he’s really way too tired for that, but it definitely unsettles him.

“What’d you call me?” He knows, but he loves watching Michael cover it up with some over the top nickname.

“Nothing, cupcake. See you.” He gives a cheeky little smirk before ducking back into the office. As Jeremy heads out into the ever oppressive Texas heat, he feels his phone vibrate and pulls it out to a very simple text from Michael

_ If i somehow see you online im coming home to aggressively cuddle you till you sleep _

**Do you not trust me or something im gonna sleep**

_ Just checking _ Jeremy smiles, but the idea of an aggressive cuddle sort of scares the shit out of him. He knows Michael’s just trying to take care of him, but his particular brand of it was a little… threatening.

Jeremy spends the whole rest of the day twisting and turning and trying to get over his fear of Michael’s sharp teeth so he can actually be close to his fucking boyfriend. Michael’s his _ fucking _ boyfriend – it’s not like they’re the only prey and predator in the world dating. And he doesn’t sleep at all, and just ends up fucking around in a handful of games till he gets an angry text from Michael saying that he sees that Jeremy’s online and not sleeping. He about throws his phone to get rid of the guilt.

\--

He gets a little better as the months go by.

But not by much.

Four months they’ve been dating now, and they’ve slept in the same bed and Jeremy feels comfortable enough to be close to Michael on the couch. But he still shies away when Michael wraps an arm around him or- god forbid- tries to curl up on his lap.

And of course, he still hasn’t said anything.

He thought that maybe because he was getting better he wouldn’t have to, but god _ damn _ does Michael look hurt when he wriggles away from his touch, stops kisses that become too much, flinches  _ so much _ when Michael startles him.

Being drunk helps. It helps a lot. He loves it when they bust in the door to Michael’s apartment and he’s not terrified when Michael is utterly surrounding him, mouth slotted against his. He loves where that goes.

And he loves having a snuggly, drunk Michael on his chest, but hates it when the buzz wears off and he feels pinned all night. Or when they’re laying together, bare skin sticking and the sheets too hot, he hates that he slides out of Michael’s grip to throw on his boxers and hide in the bathroom, trying his best not to cry.

He fails a lot of the time.

He thinks Michael hears him one night, he hears footsteps and he holds his breath and  _ prays _ that he won’t open the door because what a fucking sight. His boyfriend slumped on the floor of his bathroom in nothing but his boxers and in tears. The footsteps stop outside the door for just a second, and he can see the shadow of Michael’s feet outside haloed by the moonlight. He doesn’t breathe till they move.

Jeremy’s grateful Michael doesn’t say anything, even if he hears. Because he knows he wakes Michael up when he slides back into bed, and doesn’t even face him because he’s not sure he could hold back tears if he laid there and stared at Michael’s adorably messy hair and the way his ears alway flick when he sleeps.

He feels sick.

Maybe he’s not better.

\--

Another month goes by.

They just sort of... go now, and Jeremy stops noticing when they do. 

He feels numb sometimes, and Michael knows it. It’s all in the way he looks over at him at work, eyes flicking over to him and sometimes just staring at him. Jeremy both wants and  _ really doesn’t want _ him to ask if something’s wrong. He knows he’d brush it off.

It’s not all terrible, he still loves Michael with every bit of his being (as little as his being is, Michael loves to joke) and Jeremy can tolerate hugs from Michael now. Even ones that last for a little too long. Michael’s gotten into the habit of treading a little more carefully around him, does his best not to startle him, is hesitant with his touches. He even sometimes works his fingers into the unbelievably soft fur at the base of Jeremy’s ears, and that is a calm like he’s never felt. It helps a lot.

What doesn’t help is the rest of the guys noticing something off about him, and every single one asking him independently if something’s going on with him and Michael (they officially told the rest of the office, which resulted in a lot of money being handed to Geoff).

But Jeremy gets cornered by Gavin first, no doubt sicced on him by Geoff, figuring a lad would connect to him better. Gavin is awful, and transparent, and his wings flutter as he talks so Jeremy knows he’s covering something up. The same thing happens when he’s being a prick during a recording. He doesn’t give anything away, because all the information just feeds back to Geoff and then his  _ boss _ is gonna have to talk to him about his problems.

Ryan is next, and he almost wants to say something. Ryan’s very nonjudgemental, and he doesn’t say a lot. He even acknowledges that people have got to be asking left and right, and he’s sort of sorry for doing it again. He does feel a little better, even though he- again- acted like everything was fine. They have a moment where Jeremy falters and they both know something’s wrong, and it’s… nice to have someone know even as little as Ryan does.

Geoff is blunt, and Jeremy actually runs from the conversation. Just gets up and leaves because he feels his throat close up with fear, because there’s just something about him that makes him  _ sure _ he’d say something to Geoff. Geoff doesn’t stop him, but the look in his eyes makes him feel like a guilty kid whose parent knows more than he lets on.

And that leaves Jack for last, and Jeremy thinks he might actually die when it happens. As nice of a guy as Jack is, he’s got a mouthful of sharp teeth and is a hell of a lot bigger than Jeremy. Anyone bigger than him unnerved him a little- and it was unfortunately not a hard thing to accomplish- but at least people like Ryan weren’t predators. He doesn’t even hear most of what Jack’s saying because of his own heartbeat, and he doesn’t notice when the rest of the guys come back from lunch. He does notice Michael’s eyes boring into him, and he nervously looks over to see the absolute sweetest, most concerned look on Michael’s face he’s ever seen.

He’s a little less scared. And when Michael mouths  _ you okay? _ He finally doesn’t feel bad shaking his head a little. Michael looks ready to jump over the computers between them just to get to Jeremy. He ends up somewhat more calm than that, but by very little when he comes over to lay a hand on Jeremy’s arm and shoot a look to Jack. Jack just sort of nods and lets Michael take him away, outside the office where Jeremy sighs out the biggest sigh his body can muster and slumps down the wall. Michael goes down with him, taking his hand and looking over at him with the same intensity as before.

“Jeremy.” He squeezes Jeremy’s hand and brings it to his lips to press a tender kiss to the back of it.

“Yeah?” 

“I’m a fucking idiot.” Jeremy just cocks his head while Michael sighs and lets his head roll back with a quiet  _ thunk _ against the wall. “You’re fucking scared of me and I didn’t even  _ fucking _ realize it. I saw you talking to Jack and it finally clicked- you’re prey. Technically. Didn’t even fucking  _ think _ of that! I’m like, the worst boyfriend ever.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am! I totally am, J, because this has been going on for, what? Four, five months now and I didn’t even do anything about it, I’m…” He lets go of Jeremy’s hand to scrub his hands over his face. “I’m so sorry. I love you.” He sounds… he sounds like he’s going to cry. Jeremy takes his hand back and foregoes kissing it to lean over and just kiss Michael.

“I love you too. A lot. And I should have said something earlier than this and I shouldn’t have made you be the one to figure it out and- this isn’t your fault.” He leans his forehead on Michael’s, thumb coming up to brush along his lips.

“You weren’t okay. I should have noticed. I should have said something before now.” Michael pulls away, shaking his head as guilt flashes across his face. Jeremy knows he’s blaming himself for everything that’s happened these past couple months, and he simply can’t let that happen.

“It’s not your fault for not noticing something I was trying to hide. I… I thought it would get better and it didn’t and here we are. So maybe we both kind of messed up here.” Michael laughs, and it doesn’t really sound  _ real _ but it sounds like he’s trying, and god does Jeremy love him for it.

“Then let’s fucking start again, do this right. You tell me what you need to be comfortable, and I do it. You be honest about when you need space, or need me to change what I’m doing, and I do it. Simple as shit.” Jeremy sighs and runs a hand through his short hair.

“I’m not good at talking, though. You know, if this wasn’t proof enough.” Michael shrugs and presses a little closer, watching carefully to see how Jeremy responds. Jeremy doesn’t tense up, and just appreciates Michael’s warmth next to him. He tries not to hum and lean into Michael and he doesn’t do too great with that. Jeremy figures Michael doesn’t mind (he doesn’t).

“We’ll work on that too, J, because it’s kind of a shitty relationship we have if we don’t talk about stuff. But it’s alright, because neither of us are perfect, and we just have to work together to be kinda perfect. And I think kinda perfect is okay with me.” 

“I think kinda perfect is… well. Perfect.”

“Jesus, you’re a fucking idiot. Why did I fall in love with you?” Michael’s grinning and finally it doesn’t terrify Jeremy, but electrifies him. He can almost feel the sparks jumping between them, and he’s never felt this excited to be this close to Michael. It just makes sense when he surges forward to a kiss.

\--

Another month slides by, but Jeremy loves every moment because each one is  _ so _ good. On the fourth, he finally kisses Michael- like  _ really _ kisses him- when they come home from a date, and he doesn’t have to drink to do it. The sixth, a lazy Saturday, Jeremy pulls Michael on to his lap while they’re in bed and they both count themselves lucky they never bothered to clothe themselves. Makes everything a little easier.

The tenth, Michael comes to work in one of Jeremy’s hoodies, and he can’t stop himself from blushing and looking over at him and dropping a kiss into his hair when he thinks no one’s looking. He’s not very sneaky, but no one says anything. Michael just looks so fucking cozy in the roomy hoodie, and when he curls up on the beanbag, Jeremy is absolutely sure his heart is going to explode. He’s ok. Just barely.

The sixteenth, they fall asleep curled up on the couch with the tv on, and Jeremy doesn’t sleep for a long time, just petting through Michael’s hair as he peacefully sleeps. His ears twitch when Jeremy brushes over them, and he swears he can feel his chest rumbling as Michael breathes. The twentieth, he brings over a backpack full of clothes to Michael’s apartment, and sliding his shirts in next to Michael’s is a little bit too much for him. He gets sniffly over  _ shirts _ . It’s bad, he has to sit down on the bed and then Michael comes in and kisses the tears away when they fall. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong, just smiles when Jeremy giggles through the tears and mumbles about how silly he’s being. Michael shushes him, kissing his forehead and telling him he's allowed to be emotional, and that’s not silly. It kind of just makes the tears worse, because  _ oh my god _ Jeremy has the best boyfriend in the world, but he brushes those away too.

The twenty eighth is the best in his mind. He thinks he’ll remember it for the rest of his life. It shouldn’t be something he remembers, but he’s got something of a wonky memory like that.

He’s spending the night at Michael’s (which he does a lot) and for the first time, when Michael opens his arms for Jeremy to come snuggle, Jeremy does it without hesitation. Michael makes a little noise of surprise, a soft  _ mrowp _ , but doesn’t comment on it when Jeremy nuzzles closer into his bare chest. Just presses a kiss into his hair and settles down to sleep. 

And it should be really mundane and it shouldn’t be a thing Jeremy remembers, but-

“What the hell are you doing, babe?” Jeremy cranes his neck up to look at Michael, who isn’t even looking down at him.

“I’m purring, asshole, it means I’m happy.” Jeremy laughs a little, wriggling a bit to free his hands.

“That’s really adorable.”

“Shut up.” Jeremy reaches up, tangling his fingers in the soft curls at the base of Michael’s ears and scratching softly. His purrs get louder as his eyes slip closed, leaning into the touch and pressing their foreheads together.

“Wow. That’s fucking loud.”

“I’m fucking serious, I will kick you out of this bed.” Michael mumbles as his own hand comes up to scratch gently at Jeremy’s beard. It’s Jeremy’s turn to make an embarrassing noise, apparently, and he chirps a little, hands going limp in Michael’s hair.

“Ok, now _that’s_ fucking cute.” Jeremy doesn’t respond, because he really can’t with the way his brain is just flooded with _good yes scratch love love_ ** _him_** and before he really knows it he’s just putty in Michael’s hands. Michael’s still purring, and smiling that little smirk of his, as Jeremy pulls his hands closer to him. 

“Jesus, I’m so in love with you...” Michael says it like he thinks Jeremy can’t hear him, but he does, and he feels ready to faint when Michael presses a kiss to his forehead. “I’m so fucking glad you love me too.” Michael’s hands slither up to bury his fingers in Jeremy’s soft fur, and he chirps again, making Michael burst out in soft laughter. “How did I get so lucky? Cute ass boyfriend like you… I fuckin’... god, it sounds so stupid now, but I thought we were gonna break up. All depressed and shit, I thought it was gonna ruin us. Look at us now.” Michael shakes his head, laughing a little. “You’ve practically lived here the past week. Maybe we should just make that a thing.”

“W’ should…” Jeremy slurs, leaning more into Michael’s fingers and silently demanding more scratches.

“Oh. Fuck. You heard all that.”

“...yeah. You’re talkin’. Can hear you.” He smiles, face lax with the almost intoxicating effect of Michael’s fingers in his hair. He almost whines when Michael lets his hands slip away to cup his face gingerly.

“I probably should have thought of that, hm?”

“Mmhm. You’re not quiet… at all.”  They both laugh lightly till Michael leans in and stops the giggles with a kiss, putting as much passion and love into it as he can.

Jeremy’s gonna pass out.

Michael pulls away before he does, panting softly and nuzzling his nose against Jeremy’s. “I’m so ready to have you here all the time. Like a sleepover with my favorite person but  _ every night _ .”

“Oh my god. You’re so cute.”

“Shut up. Dick.” Jeremy chuckles sleepily.

“What’d you call me?”

“Nothin’, honeybunch. Go to sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He presses one last kiss to the corner of Jeremy’s mouth before Jeremy drifts off to sleep.

\--

Jeremy would like to say that nothing else comes up in the course of their relationship, and he’d be lying if he did, but one thing never did happen again.

He wasn’t ever scared.

**Author's Note:**

> first and foremost shout out to the cool people who joined me to stream this, we are the meme team, the team that memes. So glad to have become the ratbaby rat.
> 
> secondly yes. i was ignoring writing other things for this but also the jeremichael tag is so lacking. so i gave it a gift. and it's diet furries
> 
> thirdly, if you'd like to talk come find me on tumblr at [m4d-m4x](http://m4d-m4x.tumblr.com/)


End file.
